Calling bullshit - to surrender

It's been a minute I know, and this post is just a little quickie blog and a little life tip.

Life has been 'lifeing' and has been very full, since I last wrote I am full time with my day job, I've launched a Restaurant with my hubby and a friend who is a power house of a woman! I even threw a my very first Breast Cancer fundraiser - Think Pink Soiree'.

It's now after Christmas and tomorrow is New Year's eve, I've done my ACL, LCL, MCL & DTML, with a refracture in my Right Metatarsals, I've been seeing physio weekly/fortnightly, working really hard to get my knee right. It was feeling good so I went into a moon boot to help the foot fracture heal, but after 10 days it made my knee so much worse and unstable, the moon boot had to go and now I'm in an ACL brace and just trying to take it easy for now.

Cancer wise - I am still stable, treatment is starting to take a toll on the rest of my body - kidney's have been decreasing in efficiency so I have been working hard on increasing their function. Next, my heart is starting to decrease in efficiency also. So, my time has been spent really focusing on my health and trying to help m body keep the Cancer at bay as much as possible whilst it deals with the side effects of my Cancer treatment. But all things considering I am in a really good space, especially mentally and somewhat emotionally.

Santa was very generous this year, new Laptop (that I'm curretnly typing on), new desk and office chair, plus a few little tidbits that are absolutely epic and mean the world to me. I was able to have some time away (even if only for 5 days) from both the restaurant and my day job thankfully, because I hit a wall.

This time of year is always a little extra emotional for me, and I spent over my Christmas budget buying gifts for the co-workers who worked Christmas Day and Christmas Eve because I didn't want them to feel lonely or not loved on a day that is meant to be spent surrounded by family and friends. It is also my coping mechanism for this time of year - it's been 33 years since I lost my father and grandfather to a truck accident. Just before Christmas at the age of 4 my world changed, never to be the same again - a childhood erased. My coping mechanism, I went to the Christmas tree and gave away my father's Christmas presents to others to make them feel good, and I guess less of a reminder for me of what I lost. Now grown - I know what I had lost, very deeply but I am very grateful for my current life.

What does any of this have to do with calling bullshit? Well prior to Christmas I hit a wall of what the heck am I doing with my life and is this it? Don't get me wrong - it's an honour to work for my day job - that I know is fact, but what is also fact is that at the end of the day I am just a number in a corporate world. The local team is full of a lot of incredible people whom in which I consider family - but I have been presented with some opportunities. Advance in my current position - try something new - step into something in a larger capacity - or do it all...

I have some opportunities in front of me - and after some restful days I am now back to my day job but am taking the time to really weigh up my options - considering what will serve me best, asking myself what do I really want for my future, making pro's and cons lists for all the options, seeking opinions from those I hold in high regard and one of the biggest things I am having to do is calling bullshit on excuses and the 'what if's', focusing on fact and what best serves me.

I'm not at an answer yet - I am still a ways to go, and am definitely not rushing it - in fact I am just surrendering my decision for now, acknowledging that burn out is real, it's where I have been, not taking real down time, not stepping up in life, just giving bits of me to everything and not giving my all to anything. I'm calling bullshit on that - I'm calling bullshit on the pressure of making the right decision, having to make it right now, making the decision to appease others, not wanting to let anyone down. I call bullshit on what the 'normal' looks like, or what I thought my life would look like - calling bullshit on the ego saying I am not enough for the new opportunities or not being able to do it all.

Fact is, anything is possible - and calling bullshit on the pressure's and surrendering is freeing and uplifting - allowing space for what is meant to be.

So I ask you - where in your life are you pressuring yourself to appease others, or giving in to the excuses or limiting beliefs holding you back or at bay? What if you called bullshit on them - saw them for exactly what they are - bullshit and focusing on the facts and what best serves your? What space will be created by doing this, what could you invite in?

I have an entire series of topics on things we need to call bullshit on - and it's beginning with writing this 'quickie' blog post to get me back into this space again - who know's, a new book might even be on the horizon? Anything is possible when you let it be, realising the only thing that is holding you back is you, and your limiting beliefs - so I invite you to call bullshit, let go and surrender.

Until next time - L xoxo